What I did at the revolution - Part 1

It has often been said that the years spent at University form the happiest of one's life. Whilst this is undoubtedly a cliche, I found that I immensely enjoyed my three years at the University of Sheffield. It was a time of rigorous personal development and radically altering thought-models (Mrs Eddy's phrase) in terms of the way I came to percieve politics and spirituality. Central to my initial political education was the Socialist Workers Party (SWP), the largest political party on Britain's revolutionary left. I had been introduced to the SWP whilst living in Twickenham, but it wasn't until uni that I engaged with their central ideas and with who they were as people. This piece is essentially about my experiences with these socialist revolutionaries during my undergraduate days. It will be divided into several parts.

They see one never forgets their first kiss. True enough. I, however, will never forget my first Marxist Forum. It was a pleasant evening in either 2002 or 2003, and I had persuaded my good friend Mark to come along to one of these mysterious gatherings. I had heard about these Forums from a seminar friend, an SWP member, who had said that a conservative such as I would not necessarily be shunned. Needless to say, I decided to attend, and I began to see what had been the objects of my contempt in a whole new light. I was introduced at that meeting to several characters who were articulate, reasoned and passionate. That particular time was, of course, one of intense international tension, with the Iraq war preparations in their first stages. The Marxist explanations given to global events contained a logic and resonance that seemed accurate, I felt.

Mark and I befriended Sheffield's Socialist Worker Student Society. We enjoyed socialising with them, exploring new parts of Sheffield and discussing the peculiarities of the British left at the same time. They were interesting times. I had been fascinated by Marx's ideas since I was 14, yet I had had no one to talk to about them. Now here they all were, ready to rebut the conservative views I had adopted about historical characters such as Lenin, and the traditional arguments in favour of capitalism.

The SWP and I were courting at this stage. We were slowly getting acquainted with one another, cautiously, but with growing attraction. One night in the pub, the application form was placed in front of both Mark and I. I can see its distinct red and white tone now, and can recall is belligerant anti-capitalist language. Mark, as I remember, had little hesitation in committing himself to this party, at least in principle. He had always maintained that the present social and economic system was unjust. I myself was far more reluctant to accept this first principle. Whilst I felt that much of what the SWP said made sense, I also felt instinctively a certain discomfort, and declined the opportunity to join the Trotskyist organisation.

This feeling of unease was essentially to do with the fact that my passionate belief in God and His goodness was not reconcilable with a worldview which stated that social revolution was the 'only solution' to man's woes. As a 'born-again' student of Christian Science, I had learned how the Spirit worked in life and experience, and felt in my heart that mankind's redemption lay in radical spiritual renewal. This was to lead to a clash of first principles as the Marxists held that man, and in particular the working-class, could only be redeemed through social, and not a personal, revolution. More will be said about this, as the clash of first principles became so great that the political tables in my house turned once again, to embrace what I felt was a better religious idealism. For the moment let us return to the historical moment where we left off, my decision not to join the SWP.

Despite this very significant decision not to join the party, and my misgivings, I had nevertheless accepted many of the SWP's central ideas, and became, at least in principle, committed to a form of revolutionary socialism until relatively late on in my undergraduate days. I was an advocate for the SWP and jumped to its defence whenever I felt it had been misrepresented or misunderstood. On reflection, I spent considerable energy explaining and justifying the SWP 'line' on such issues as Cuba, as happened in a Forum in late 2003.

Possibly the peak of my general interest and involvement was Marxism 2003, an annual week in which the rank and file gather in London to discuss all aspects of social, politial, economic and cultural phenomena in capitalist and post-capitalist society.

To be continued....